This is kind of a ultra-personal blog. I'm going to rant, and I welcome people to rant to me.
I love boyfriend.
But I wish he hadn’t gone on a date with one of my closest friends first.
Granted I didn’t know him then.
But it was obvious that SHE was the one who wasn’t interested.
I wonder if I’ll ever get over that or if it’ll be stuck in that little corner of my brain forever.
I am always so scared with you.
And I can’t even blame you for it.
I’m scared because I am so ridiculously flawed. Because of the times I over react, because I say things I regret 20 minutes later.
You’re flawed too, but that doesn’t make me less scared. Because I know my feelings in you, but I can’t know your feelings for me.
That’s simple logic right?
I’m a crazy, hormonal, raging bitch. I’ve been told.
And I probably don’t deserve you.
But for all the shit I put you through, I really hope you stick around.
I really don’t know where I’d be without you.
Last friday, was day one. So, June 9th.
And I’m dying to do it again.
I fucking hate myself.
Almost made it a whole two months. Longest in a while.
Isn’t it obvious I’m screaming for help? Sitting there crying about how I need you tomorrow? How I pushed the issue, and really pushed it?
You chose the worst day to take for yourself.
I don’t know how else to tell the four people I talked to that I need someone right now, that I need help.
Again.
November…not much to remember. You were not in sight.
December, change of the weather…you were by my side.
♥ Only just realized how appropriate this is.
